Please Help! How do I leave my wife and keep my kids in California?

We've been only married for three years and my wife is becoming unbearable to live with, to be with and its getting to the point that I can't stand her. Coming from a single parent home I've been trying to tough it out as long as i could because I really want my kids to frow up with a mommy and daddy. But my wife's anger and short tempered issues are too much for me to handle or push to the side. She gets upset and starts throwing stuff around the house for no apparent reasons. Its gotten physical also. Yes, i called her name but she asked and deserved it. It went from slapping me in the face to full on punches to the face. And no in no way did I retaliate, I just stood there and took them like a man. a coward would have it her back. Once she started throwing stuff at me while I was holding my 1 year old boy. It got so scary I called the cops on her and had her arrested. i umed something as severe as being arrested would get her to undertand how much this was bothering me. Of course I bailed her out we worked that situation out. she agreed she would get counseling or get help with her issues. I thought she took the next step to a better marriage by admitting she had a problem and agreed to get help. But she never did. I could go on and on but I won't because this is the biggest issue for me. I'm not saying I'm the perfect husband but she doesn't realize how good she has it. I give alot to my family but enough is enough. I haven't exactly made up my mind yet but it's damn close. If I leave I want to take my 2 kids with me!